Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?
  • Thaw me like one of your french fries!
  • If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.
  • I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.
  • If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?
  • I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.