Commentary:
When you're high and your cat struts in like the CEO of the apartment 😂🐱 "Oh hai, Mr. Whiskers, what's the stock report?!" 📈😹
29 Funny dude quotes
If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just pretend they're limes and make a margarita—no one will notice! 🍋🍹😎
Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.
Commentary:
Suddenly everyone with a MacBook thinks they're writing the next Harry Potter at Starbucks ☕️💻✨
Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.
Commentary:
Sounds like some folks are filing international conflicts under "For Research Purposes Only" 😂🌍🧠
Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.
Commentary:
When he enters the room, even the paint dries faster! 🎨😴
Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.
Commentary:
Looks like I’ve finally found my calling in life as the ultimate medium ugly enthusiast; now I just need to work on my wardrobe! 😂👖😎
Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.
Commentary:
Who knew "popcorn bag opening" would be the final boss level in parenting? 😂🍿🔓
“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.
Commentary:
Lmao, at this rate, my only active status is "Netflix and couch potato" 😂🍿📺
Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.
Commentary:
"Seems like you're universally consistent 😂💫 #FallenStarStatus"
Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?
Commentary:
"Why are you taking up prime brain real estate before I've had my coffee? ☕️💭🤦♀️"