Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

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So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

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I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).