Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
  • I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.
  • Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.
  • A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.
  • I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
  • I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.