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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

36 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Going viral on YouTube:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Breaking via Reddit:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Making waves on Instagram:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Trending via Discord:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Reported on Instagram:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

2 months ago

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like we've finally found the magical spell to ease our troubles! 🧙‍♂️🎩 Who would have thought that a sprinkle of swear words could be the ultimate pain reliever? Now, excuse me while I practice my newfound potion-making skills next time I stub my toe! 🤬🧙‍♀️💫

50, coping, coping mechanism, cursing, humor, mechanism, pain, psychology, relief, self-injury

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

36 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Going viral on Messenger:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Going viral on Slack:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

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