Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.
  • Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.
  • No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.
  • Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.
  • A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.
  • I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.