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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Breaking via Threads:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Just shared via Reddit:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Trending via WeChat:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Spotted on Messenger:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Making waves on Twitch:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Just landed via Telegram:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Making waves on Twitch:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.
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Commentary:
"Sorry boys, but my heart is like a GPS – it's already set on a destination that doesn't involve a U-turn! 🚫👀😜"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Just shared via Facebook:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Trending via Facebook:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Going viral on YouTube:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Just shared via Messenger:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Making waves on WeChat:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

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