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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,936

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Spreading quickly via X:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Live now on Reddit:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Just landed via Slack:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Making waves on Slack:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Making waves on Messenger:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Trending via TikTok:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Seen just now on X:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

1 month ago

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic tale of the missing item – it always seems to play hide and seek with us! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 It's like a stealthy ninja, disappearing when we don't need it and suddenly deciding to play a game of vanishing act right when we desperately require it. 😂 Just when you think you've outsmarted it, it outwits you with its disappearing act! 🎩✨ #HideAndSeekChampion

frustration, humor, i, irony, life, need, search

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,628

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Trending via YouTube:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Live now on LinkedIn:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Breaking via Reddit:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Just landed via Threads:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Just shared via Messenger:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Seen just now on X:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Going viral on TikTok:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Spotted on Threads:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

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