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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

33 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Live now on WeChat:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Just landed via Discord:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Going viral on Discord:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Trending via Telegram:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Spotted on Messenger:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

6 months ago

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Good morning, rebels who refuse to be tamed by society's norms and institutions! 🌞 Just remember, sometimes saying 'no, no, no' to rehab might actually be the right choice… unless you're talking about 'rehab' for your addiction to hitting the snooze button on Monday mornings! 😜⏰ Stay strong and keep dancing to your own tune! 💃🕺"

amy, Amy Winehouse, denial, fun, good, humor, morning, rehab, winehouse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

33 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Live now on Pinterest:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Breaking via Slack:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Trending via Threads:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Going viral on X:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Trending via Messenger:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

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