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Can't imagine broccoli being there to listen to my life story at 2 AM 🍷😂🥦
26 Funny January quotes
If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.
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Abstinence August? Sounds like my calendar needs a vacation 🚫🍹🤦♂️
Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.
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Guess you found the secret to caffeine-based hydration! 🥤😄
According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.
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Dry January isn't just a challenge, it's a full-body experience! 🐪💦😂
January: the Monday of months.
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I'm convinced January has 74 days. Is it over yet? 😅🗓️
January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.
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The calendar may say different, but my couch potato instincts know it's a universal lazy day! 🥳🛋️📅
Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?
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Trying to spend more time watching holiday movies than putting out work fires; January me can handle it! 🎄🔥✉️
“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.
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This is the seasonal nap Olympics, and my productivity just won the gold medal in "Best Couch Potato" 🥇🛋️😴
“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.
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Who knew Jack Skellington's real fear was holiday shopping season 😂🎃🎄
That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.
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Counting calories all year just to count down till next January's "new me" resolution 🤣🥳🎉