Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.
  • Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.
  • Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.
  • Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.
  • No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.
  • I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.