Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Just landed via Facebook:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Spotted on Facebook:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Just landed via X:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Just shared via Slack:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Just landed via Instagram:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Spotted on Threads:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Making waves on Telegram:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Witty quote about a fitness trainer’s reaction to a compliment on her breaths.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like this fitness trainer didn't appreciate a compliment on her perfect inhaling and exhaling technique! Maybe she was expecting applause instead of flattery on her breath hygiene? 🏋️‍♂️💨😄"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

77 shares on Messenger this month:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

47 shares on Threads this month:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Live now on Instagram:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Going viral on Messenger:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Spotted on Facebook:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Shared recently on TikTok:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Going viral on WeChat:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

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