Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
📢🤥 "Introducing the Bullshithorn – perfect for those moments when you need a loud wake-up call to cut through the fog of your own self-deception! Guaranteed to clear the air… and maybe your conscience too!" 😂🌫️

bullshit, clarity, foghorn, honesty, humor, own, people, perception

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, joke, just, leg, masseuse, playfulness, puns, sarcasm
“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

0

4 weeks ago

apple, Apple Music, called, consumerism, disgusted, ethical, ethical consumerism, fair, fair trade, humor, i, mom-and-pop, music, music platform, platform, sarcasm, service, Spotify, still, streaming, streaming service, trade
I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

0

2 months ago

activity, bear, chance, enjoy, humor, i, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, risk, walk, woods
If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

0

2 months ago

apple, expectations, fall, family, genetics, humor, kids, parenting, screwed, tree
Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

0

2 months ago

bad, better, expectations, humor, imagination, optimism, perspective, pessimism, reality, things
Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

0

2 months ago

career, career joke, comparison, employment, experience, help, humor, humorous, humorous comparison, hut, job, job humor, joke, know, pizza, pizza hut, retail, retail job, sunglass, sunglass hut, think, work, work experience, working, workplace, workplace humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

69 shares on Threads this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Going viral on X:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Breaking via WeChat:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Seen just now on Telegram:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Breaking via TikTok:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨