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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Just landed via Messenger:

Overthinkaholic!

Going viral on X:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Going viral on Twitch:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Trending via TikTok:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Making waves on TikTok:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Trending via Pinterest:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

2 months ago

0

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the sweet irony of AI threatening human jobs! 🤖👔 Who would've thought we'd live to see the day when AI might need an AIjobs program? 😂 Maybe we need to start preparing some retraining algorithms for our silicon friends! 🔄🤣 #UnemployedAI

AI, coming, future, humor, i, irony, jobs, love, technology, unemployed, unemployment, workforce

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

0

2 months ago

answer, being, calling, humor, i, number, people, phone, polls, reason, skepticism, trust, unknown, unknown number
I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

0

2 months ago

big, bladder, cancel, humor, i, morning, plans, sleep, today, wake, wake up
Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

0

2 months ago

Gestypo, grammar, humor, joke, language, Nazi, wordplay
“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

0

2 months ago

advice, government, gun, humor, hurricane, irony, own, research, safety, shoot, skepticism, thanks
I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

0

2 months ago

budgeting, days, done, finance, get by, humor, i, management, math, money, month, time, time management
Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

0

3 months ago

communication, favourite, form, humor, introvert, morning, silence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

65 shares on X this month:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

13 shares on YouTube this month:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Spotted on Facebook:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Trending via Telegram:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Shared recently on Discord:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Seen just now on Discord:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

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