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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Spotted on Discord:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Just shared via Instagram:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Just shared via WeChat:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Seen just now on X:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

4 weeks ago

Witty text about AI taking jobs, humorously wishing AI would be unemployed.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the sweet irony of AI threatening human jobs! 🤖👔 Who would've thought we'd live to see the day when AI might need an AIjobs program? 😂 Maybe we need to start preparing some retraining algorithms for our silicon friends! 🔄🤣 #UnemployedAI

AI, coming, future, humor, i, irony, jobs, love, technology, unemployed, unemployment, workforce

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

79 shares on Instagram this month:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Making waves on Twitch:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Trending via WhatsApp:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Going viral on Threads:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

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