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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

428 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,697

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,697

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Just landed via YouTube:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Just shared via Instagram:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

All roads lead to disappointment.

20 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
But hey, at least they all have Wi-Fi now! 📶😂

disappointment, humor, irony, lead, pessimism, road

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

4 months ago

50s, age, aging, fitness, humor, middle, middle age, stretch, stretching, welcome, wrong
I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

2 months ago

awkwardness, conversation, date, flirting, humor, i, relationship, skills, social, social skills, suck
One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

2 months ago

abs, crun, daily, exercise, fitness, humor, i, patience, results, take, underestimate, week
You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

2 months ago

again, baseball, craving, dog, dogs, ever, food, game, guy, hear, hot, hot dog, humor, looking, me, over, sports, vendor, yelling
Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

3 months ago

career, celebrity, criticism, entertainment, humor, life, maybe, music, music career, nothing, problem, say, showgirl, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, time
Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

2 weeks ago

advice, asking, comparison, doctor, doctors, engineer, humor, idea, medical, medical advice, nutrition, printer, printers, software, software engineer, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

74 shares on X this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

24 shares on Slack this month:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Trending via Facebook:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Breaking via Facebook:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Live now on Discord:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Just landed via TikTok:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Going viral on Instagram:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Trending via Reddit:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All roads lead to disappointment.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨