Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has shared:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has downloaded:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Spotted on Discord:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Making waves on Slack:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Trending via Reddit:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says β€œlet’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Trending via TikTok:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Live now on Twitch:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Trending via TikTok:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Just shared via Threads:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

All roads lead to disappointment.

Witty quote about life's setbacks, humorously suggesting all paths end in disappointment.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
But hey, at least they all have Wi-Fi now! πŸ“ΆπŸ˜‚

, , , , ,

Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Threads this month:

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

β€œWhat fresh hell is this?β€œ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

38 shares on Discord this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

93 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

69 shares on Slack this month:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œI’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,566

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

β€œI’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, β€œWhat kind of trees are those?”

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

β€œI have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has viewed:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Messenger:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say β€œdingoes”.

Just shared via Discord:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Going viral on Threads:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Going bananas on TikTok:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Β© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄