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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Making waves on Discord:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Live now on Twitch:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Trending via WeChat:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Making waves on WeChat:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Going viral on Reddit:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Just shared via Slack:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Going viral on Messenger:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Making waves on YouTube:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Trending via Messenger:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

2 months ago

0

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seems like the key to getting paid at an internship is having sticky fingers, eh? 🤑💼 Just kidding! Remember folks, the real treasure is the experience you gain along the way… but a decent stipend wouldn't hurt either! 😉💰 #InternLife"

employment, humor, internship, joke, satire, steal, unpaid, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, experience, first experience, forget, hr, humor, kiss, meeting, memory, never, situation, workplace, workplace humor
My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

0

2 months ago

80s, activity, fun, fun activity, humor, nostalgia, plan, plans, retirement, time, time travel, travel
I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

0

1 month ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
I love when lashes make me look evil.

0

3 months ago

beauty, evil, evil look, humor, i, lash, love, makeup, me
No email needs to tell me not to reply.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, message, reply, tech, tell, work
Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

0

2 months ago

humor, intelligence, IQ, only, psychology, therapist, therapy, works

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on TikTok this month:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Just shared via Telegram:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Going viral on YouTube:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Shared recently on Slack:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Just shared via WeChat:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Making waves on Messenger:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Trending via Facebook:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

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