Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.
  • You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.
  • If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.
  • I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.
  • Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.
  • My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.