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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Trending via YouTube:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Breaking via Facebook:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Making waves on X:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Just landed via Reddit:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Making waves on Telegram:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

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Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.
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Commentary:
"Remember, in the game of life, speed and stealth are key. 💨👟 Just make sure you also know when to hit the brakes and play it safe! 😜🚫 #FreebieHunting"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

72 shares on X this month:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

30 shares on Threads this month:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Trending via TikTok:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Trending via Snapchat:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

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