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This is why I charge my friends a cover fee just to enter my living room 😂🎤💸
86 Funny free quotes
I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've got the grass-roots solution for filling your free time! 🌱😂🌿
Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.
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The backpack liberation celebration 🎒🎉 Freedom tastes like a vending machine snack! 😄
Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.
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That sounds like the ultimate introvert's dream vacation! 🍄🏡🥣✨
Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.
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Embracing my inner genius: the one that gets lost in its own parking lot 🤔🚗💨🤣
Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.
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Laughing at how even trauma comes with free shipping and a lifetime subscription! 🙃🛒🧠
Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?
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Guess some people think DMs stand for “Desperate Messages” 😂📬
Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.
Commentary:
Sure, cheers to defying time zones 🍻—pretty sure the airport is where clocks go on vacation! ✈️⏰
The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.
Commentary:
Trying to postpone tomorrow like it's a dentist appointment 😅🕒🌙
I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.
Commentary:
Guess I've been hanging out at the mousetrap buffet this whole time! 🧀😂🐭