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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Just landed via Twitch:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Trending via Twitch:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Trending via Snapchat:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Trending via Reddit:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.
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Commentary:
"Can't argue with that logic—I've yet to win a debate against a toddler! 🤷‍♂️👶🗣️ #PassionateGibberish"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Life is weird and then you die.

Trending via WeChat:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Trending via Messenger:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Going viral on Twitch:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Live now on Pinterest:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Live now on Pinterest:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Just landed via Messenger:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Trending via Discord:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

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