105 funny baby quotes - Wordgag

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

May 25, 2026

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

May 25, 2026

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

May 24, 2026

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

May 24, 2026

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

May 24, 2026

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

May 24, 2026

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

May 24, 2026

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

May 24, 2026

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

May 24, 2026

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

May 24, 2026

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

May 24, 2026

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

May 24, 2026

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

May 23, 2026

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

May 23, 2026

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

May 23, 2026

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

May 23, 2026

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

May 23, 2026

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

May 23, 2026

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

May 23, 2026

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

May 23, 2026

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

May 23, 2026

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

May 23, 2026

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

May 23, 2026

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

May 23, 2026

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

May 23, 2026

Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby Is this guy bothering you?

May 23, 2026

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

May 22, 2026

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

May 22, 2026

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

May 22, 2026

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

May 22, 2026

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

May 22, 2026

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

May 22, 2026

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

May 22, 2026

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

May 22, 2026

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

May 22, 2026

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

May 22, 2026

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

May 22, 2026

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

May 22, 2026

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

May 22, 2026

Enjoy the time between diapers!

May 22, 2026