Commentary:
When the staff-to-customer ratio at the music store is higher than my GPA 😂🎶📚
309 Funny too quotes
People laugh about how cats love boxes, but if there was suddenly a box bigger than you in your living room, you’d probably go in it too.
Commentary:
I'd definitely check it out, but only after checking it for monsters first! 🚪📦👀
“I’m so fiercely anti-nostalgia I won’t even tell my coworkers what I did over the weekend, lest I look back on it too fondly.”
Commentary:
Living in the moment so hard, I refuse to remember what I had for breakfast! 🕰️😂🥐
If you made $200K last month trading, maybe just keep doing that. You don’t need to sell me a course, too.
Commentary:
Wow, they're trying to have their cake and eat mine too! 🍰💸🤣
Too lazy to explain myself, just judge me.
Commentary:
Judgment day never looked so comfy 😂🛋️
“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”
Commentary:
When your brain decides it just wanted some cardio 🤔🏃♂️ #MysteryTrips 🚪😂
So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
Commentary:
They're judging, but I've got my X-ray vision on, so who's the real hero here? 🦸♂️👀🔍
I had too much to think last night.
Commentary:
Sounds like a brain hangover! 🍳🤯💭
Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.
Commentary:
Middle age: the era of squinting at the remote and politely asking the blender to keep it down 😂🔍🔊
Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.
Commentary:
Haunting level: professional! I'm here… sometimes. 👻💌