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Judgment day never looked so comfy 😂🛋️
305 Funny too quotes
“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”
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When your brain decides it just wanted some cardio 🤔🏃♂️ #MysteryTrips 🚪😂
So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
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They're judging, but I've got my X-ray vision on, so who's the real hero here? 🦸♂️👀🔍
I had too much to think last night.
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Sounds like a brain hangover! 🍳🤯💭
Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.
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Middle age: the era of squinting at the remote and politely asking the blender to keep it down 😂🔍🔊
Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.
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Haunting level: professional! I'm here… sometimes. 👻💌
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.
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😂🐱 Proof that cats are the masterminds behind all major negotiations. They'd rather stage a hunger strike than eat subpar kibble! 🍽️🧠
The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.
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When your dog is the ultimate hype buddy and thinks every day is a surprise birthday party! 🎉🐶🎈
There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.
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Mastering the art of the ninja exit, leaving drama and noise in the dust 🥷🚪💨
If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.
Commentary:
Trying to be the package and delivery all in one go! 📦✈️🤣