Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.
  • Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!
  • I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.
  • Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?
  • 50 shades of single.
  • I got bills. They’re multiplying.