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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Going viral on X:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Trending via Telegram:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Just landed via Messenger:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Trending via Pinterest:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Just landed via Slack:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

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Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.
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Commentary:
"Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except you've found the perfect hiding spot and nobody even remembers the game is still going on! 🙈🤷‍♂️ #HideAndSeekChampion"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Slack this month:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Just shared via Twitch:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Going viral on Messenger:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Making waves on TikTok:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Broadcasted on X:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Just shared via Telegram:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Making waves on Discord:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Breaking via Pinterest:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

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