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Commentary:
"Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except you've found the perfect hiding spot and nobody even remembers the game is still going on! 🙈🤷‍♂️ #HideAndSeekChampion"

30, dating, hide, hide and seek, humor, loneliness, looking, past, past 30, relationship, seek, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

0

5 months ago

actually, benefit, humor, i, imposter, imposter syndrome, job, jobs, little, observation, people, self-doubt, sometimes, syndrome, watch, work
Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

0

2 months ago

accessory, anyone, clothing, clothing accessory, cocaine, drug, humor, jean, jeans, little, mystery, pocket
For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

0

2 months ago

creativity, day, gift, humor, husband, i, present, relationship, shirt, thought, twice, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

0

2 months ago

chewing, divorce, hear, humor, i, marriage, moved, sound, states, still, wife
I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

0

2 days ago

actually, charming, dark, dark humor, guillotine, humor, i, let, me, sarcasm, wit
If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

0

5 months ago

attitude, blame, evil, humor, man, me, meet, origin, personality, think, transformation, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Slack this month:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

23 shares on X this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Trending via TikTok:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Making waves on WeChat:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Shared recently on WeChat:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Making waves on WeChat:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Shared recently on Slack:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨