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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Spotted on Reddit:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Just shared via Instagram:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Just landed via Facebook:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Breaking via X:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about birthday sex referencing parental history with playful wit.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic circle of life celebration 😏🎉. It's like a sexy inception within a birthday cake 🎂. Remember to blow out more than just candles 🔥💨! Just make sure to give your parents a high-five on their special day too 👏🎈!"

birthday, celebrate, celebration, fun, humor, irony, parents, relationship, sex

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on YouTube this month:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

31 shares on X this month:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

56 shares on Threads this month:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Shared recently on Discord:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Just landed via Reddit:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Going bananas on Discord:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Seen just now on Instagram:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

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