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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,857

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Trending via YouTube:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Shared recently on WeChat:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Making waves on Messenger:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I probably think this song is about me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Trending via Twitch:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

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Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic circle of life celebration 😏🎉. It's like a sexy inception within a birthday cake 🎂. Remember to blow out more than just candles 🔥💨! Just make sure to give your parents a high-five on their special day too 👏🎈!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

99 shares on X this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Seen just now on Telegram:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Just landed via Threads:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Making waves on X:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

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