Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.
  • I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.
  • Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.
  • I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.
  • If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.
  • In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.