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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Going bananas on YouTube:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Making waves on Slack:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Live now on Instagram:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Trending via TikTok:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about car naps hitting differently when you're behind the wheel.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic paradox of a car nap – simultaneously rejuvenating and risky! 😴🚗 It's like a power nap with an element of danger thrown in for good measure. Just imagine waking up with a jolt and realizing you've been driving on autopilot… literally! Drive safe, nap safe, folks! 😅"

automotive, car, car nap, driving, hit, humor, multitasking, nap, relaxation, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

May the algorithms be with you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Trending via Telegram:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Seen just now on Threads:

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

Trending via TikTok:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Making waves on Discord:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Making waves on WeChat:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

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