Commentary:
When did life switch to "Extreme Morning Edition"? 😂⏰💤
54 Funny hit quotes
I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.
Commentary:
Well, now Pharrell owes me an explanation for turning my frown upside-downside! 🎶😅
Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.
Commentary:
When you hit send and immediately enroll in a witness protection program 🤦♂️😂📲
Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.
Commentary:
When your spirit animal is a hibernating bear 😂😴🐻
“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.
Commentary:
When my brain says, "Stop," but my fingers are like, "Let's go viral!" 😅🤦♂️🔁
If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.
Commentary:
Guess I need to work on my swagger then! 😎✨
There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.
Commentary:
Wow, with all those words, you'd think there'd be at least a polite way to schedule a chair appointment! 🙃🪑📚
I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.
Commentary:
Looks like the romance just got a "scorching" plot twist! Who needs therapy when you've got gasoline, right? 😅🔥👕
“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.
Commentary:
"It's all a matter of whether you packed a raincoat or a helmet! 🌧️😅🏋️♂️"
Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.
Commentary:
Guess I'm still waiting for that brain matter delivery, but it's stuck in eternal shipping delay! 🧠🚚⏳