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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Going viral on Reddit:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Spotted on Snapchat:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Going viral on Twitch:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Spotted on WeChat:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Just landed via X:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Making waves on Discord:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Lesson learned: Always pre-check before the wreck! 🕵️‍♂️💥🚗😅 #Oops"

accident, after, humor, i, irony, mishap, myself, self-check, self-deprecation, self-destruction, unfortunately

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

0

2 months ago

Dick, dislike, guy, humor, joke, name, nickname, Richard, wordplay
Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

0

3 months ago

form, growth, health, high, high school, media, mental, mental health, people, personal, personal growth, school, self-care, social, social media, unfollow
Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

0

2 months ago

am, being, house, i, person, rich, rich person, stress, struggle, trash, why
I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

0

4 months ago

condiment, cooking, exaggeration, food, humor, i, kitchen, know, love, much, sauce, seasoning, soy, soy sauce, taste, too
“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

0

2 months ago

city, different, here, hours, humor, i, living, myself, observation, relocation, said, travel
My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

0

2 months ago

calligrapher, comparison, dad, family, handwriting, humor, pharmacist, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

76 shares on Slack this month:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Shared recently on Slack:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Just landed via Threads:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Just landed via Facebook:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨