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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

4,029

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Spotted on TikTok:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Going viral on Reddit:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Seen just now on X:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Spotted on Threads:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Live now on Threads:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

2 months ago

0

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Perhaps mosquitoes are just sticklers for summer fashion, insisting on that Capri Sun aesthetic 🍹🦟 While it may sound like a comedic legal requirement, I think they just have a penchant for personal 'touch' when it comes to snacking 😂 #FashionableMosquito"

blood, capri, Capri Sun, cup, drink, humor, legally, legs, mosquito, required, something, summer, sun

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

0

2 months ago

family, humor, joke, marriage, mother, mother-in-law, proud, want
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

0

2 months ago

again, dislike, divorce, getting, give, going, house, humor, i, love, marriage, married, relationship, sarcasm, woman
I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

0

2 months ago

guys, humor, i, interaction, introduce, introduction, moron, neighbor, sarcasm, should, social, social interaction
Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

0

2 months ago

being, companionship, dog, everyone, humor, masseuse, meet, pet, relaxation, wild
A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, everything, fix, fix everything, forehead, forehead kiss, health, humor, illness, irreverent, kiss, lobotomy, mental, mental health, mental illness, therapy
The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

0

2 months ago

appetite, conflict, destruction, disaster, food, humor, irony, me, recipe, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

83 shares on X this month:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

89 shares on Threads this month:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,822

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Seen just now on Discord:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Just landed via Instagram:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Spotted on Discord:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Making waves on X:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

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