Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.