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Commentary:
Ah, the classic "offer-help-then-get-actual-work" maneuver – a true art form in the realm of subtle rejection! 🎭 It's like extending a hand in friendship and getting a high-five in return. 🖐️ Oh, the joy of lending a hand only to have it gently declined! 😅 #JustMyLuck

expectations, hate, help, humor, irony, offer, person, relationships, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

1 month ago

General, humor, military, never, salute, sarcasm, settings, tech, tech humor
Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

2 months ago

activity, anytime, cost, dress, fashion, fun, fun activity, humor, retail, retail therapy, same, shopping, therapy
Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

1 month ago

actually, antique, attack, doll, fear, human, humans, humor, irony, majority, murder, people, porcelain, porcelain doll, rare, rarity, shark, shark attack
Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

2 months ago

ask, day, escape, home, humor, hurt, i, me, much, myself, object, office, pain, same, time, times, too
There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

2 months ago

absence, humor, irony, loneliness, love, me, relationship, sex
What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

2 months ago

activity, advice, climbing, humor, mountain, nonsense, outdoors, people, risk, understand

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My recliner and I go way back.

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“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

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I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

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We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

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I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

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Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

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I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

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Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Trending via Threads:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Spotted on Reddit:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Live now on Reddit:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Just shared via YouTube:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

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Activity Log ✨

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The shitshow must go on.

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

I drive like I’m immortal.

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

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Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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