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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Trending via TikTok:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Trending via Threads:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Just shared via Facebook:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Making waves on Threads:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "offer-help-then-get-actual-work" maneuver – a true art form in the realm of subtle rejection! 🎭 It's like extending a hand in friendship and getting a high-five in return. 🖐️ Oh, the joy of lending a hand only to have it gently declined! 😅 #JustMyLuck

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WeChat this month:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

76 shares on Threads this month:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

13 shares on X this month:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

85 shares on Slack this month:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

97 shares on X this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My recliner and I go way back.

Just shared via YouTube:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Making waves on Reddit:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Going viral on Twitch:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Shared recently on TikTok:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

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