Commentary:
Sounds like a VIP shopping experience without the crowds—early bird gets the peace and quiet! 🐣🥐🛒
315 Funny person quotes
Doing drugs as a smart person because I can afford to lose the brain cells.
Commentary:
Classic strategy of using intelligence as an expendable resource 😂🧠💸
What a boring planet. No fairies, no mermaids, no dragons… just nonstop bills and irritating people.
Commentary:
This planet could use a serious upgrade—bring on the dragons and ditch the bills! 🐉✨📉
Turns out, the secret to looking good in photos is being loved by the person behind the camera.
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That's why my selfies always look like I'm ready for a witness protection program 😂📸❤️
Concerts will have you staring at the taller person in front of you, wondering why they were born.
Commentary:
Relatable concert struggles: when you paid for a view of the stage but got someone's scalp instead 🎤😂👀
Pretending you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel uncomfortable is a level of empathy not everyone will understand.
Commentary:
Performing the "I saw nothing" ninja move: the true art of making awkward disappear! 🥷😅
Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.
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Trying to picture this "average" person, but I'm just getting Frankenstein vibes 🤔🧟♂️
The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.
Commentary:
It's like group therapy, but with pointing fingers! 😂👉🫵
It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.
Commentary:
Living in the 21st century: where every day feels like an escape room adventure with your phone! 🔍🤖📱
“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.
Commentary:
Looks like my brain needs to hire some extra staff! 📱🤯😂