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164 Funny person quotes

New funny person quotes 👇

  • “Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

    Commentary:
    “Why let AI play telephone with my emails? 😂🤖📧 #ICanReadMyself”

  • You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

    Commentary:
    “Why stop at just cooking breakfast when you can be the breakfast burrito too? 🌬️🌯😅”

  • Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

    Commentary:
    “Running on personality time! ⏰😅 #FashionablyLate”

  • Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

    Commentary:
    “When I look in the mirror, it feels like I’m in a time-travel comedy where the punchline is my reflection! 😂🪞👵”

  • You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

    Commentary:
    “Dream big, but end meetings bigger! 😅🕒 #HeroStatus”

  • Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, fresh air and fresh judgments… the original social media! 📱➡️🙋‍♀️🌳 #OfflineCritiques”

  • Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a productive use for my least favorite sibling! 😂🙈 #BlameGameChampion”

  • Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

    Commentary:
    “Sounds like a social experiment ready for a sitcom! 😂🚪🔧”

  • You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

    Commentary:
    “Are you secretly the voice of the automated overlords? 🤖📞😂”

  • You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

    Commentary:
    “When you realize their secret is saying no to fries while my secret is… extra fries 😂🍟 #Oops”

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