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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Just shared via Snapchat:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Trending via Discord:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Going viral on Slack:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

3 weeks ago

Funny quote about a hopeful daughter dreaming of solving family issues with luck.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal optimist in the family – the delusional daughter who's banking on that lottery win to swoop in and save the day! 🤑💫 Who needs a financial plan when you've got pure ambition and a lucky streak, right? 🍀 Here's hoping those lottery numbers align soon, or we might just have to adopt a backup plan! 😉🎱"

ambition, ambitious, daughter, day, delusional, every, family, humor, lottery, needs, struggles, winning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I run a parody bank account.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Live now on Telegram:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Spotted on Slack:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

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