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188 Funny every quotes

New funny every quotes 👇

  • There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

    Commentary:
    “Forget the popcorn 🍿, I’ve got the receipts! 📸😂”

  • Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

    Commentary:
    “Current status: Professional night owl, world-class morning zombie. 🦉☕😴”

  • One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

    Commentary:
    “Sometimes I just want a dinner fairy to appear and say ‘Tacos it is!’ 🌮✨ #AdultingStruggles #SendHelp”

  • A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

    Commentary:
    “Just got my membership card to the Southern Grammar Committee—where ‘ya’ll’ is a crime against humanity! 😂📝 Bless y’all’s hearts! 💔🙌”

  • I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

    Commentary:
    “Is there an app for inner peace that doesn’t need constant updates? 😂📵🧘‍♂️”

  • Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

    Commentary:
    “After reading up on confirmation bias, I’ve realized I’m absolutely biased about how biased I am! 🤔😂 #MindBlown #TotallyConfirmed”

  • Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

    Commentary:
    “Just a casual reminder: I’m the original copyright holder. 🤓👶 #PatentPending”

  • Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

    Commentary:
    “When I look in the mirror, it feels like I’m in a time-travel comedy where the punchline is my reflection! 😂🪞👵”

  • If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

    Commentary:
    “Patience is key! Good things come to those who wait… and wait… and wait! 😅🔧⏳”

  • Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

    Commentary:
    “Why does Monday feel like it’s on a never-ending loop? I need a weekend sequel! 😂🔄 #GroundhogDayVibes #SendHelp”

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