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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Just shared via Slack:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Live now on Messenger:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Live now on Facebook:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Trending via Pinterest:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
World peace through cookies! 🍪✌️🍰

conflict, dessert, fighting, fun, humor, incentive, motivation, peace, stop, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

0

2 months ago

audiobook, awareness, communication, even, humor, listening, reading, room
Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

0

2 months ago

20, age, always, curiosity, ever, forever, future, humor, i, Italy, Japan, long-term, someone, travel, turned, world, world travel
I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

0

2 months ago

back, boundary, communication, conversation, end, enjoy, enjoyment, i, interaction, kind, life, living, modern, modern life, silence, simply, social, social interaction, texting, where, world
I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

0

2 months ago

comedy, experience, experiences, fat, food, full, humor, humor about food, mexican, Mexican restaurant, most, place, restaurant, restaurants, self-deprecating, weight
If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

0

4 weeks ago

beef, celebrity, conflict, government, humor, lost, media, online, online beef, politics, pop, pop star, social, social media, star
You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

0

1 month ago

comfort, comfort zone, humor, interaction, invitation, leave, mine, personality, should, social, social interaction, zone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Slack this month:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

50 shares on X this month:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Trending via Threads:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Live now on TikTok:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Seen just now on Discord:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨