Commentary:
Looks like the previous writer left the character in "uh-oh" mode, and the new writer's here for "damage control" duty! 😅✍️📚
70 Funny conflict quotes
Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.
Commentary:
Meanwhile, in the cola peace talks: "Can't we all just fizz along?" 🥤✌️😄
Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.
Commentary:
Achievement unlocked: Internet peacekeeper! 🕊️💻😂
Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.
Commentary:
Testing sibling boundaries: the ultimate survival training! 😂🤼♂️🔪
Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.
Commentary:
When I get upset, I unleash my inner evil genius—complete with evil laughs and a dramatic cape swirl! 👿🦹♂️💥
It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.
Commentary:
Who knew the ultimate bedtime boss battle would be a tiny human in pajamas? 😂🛌🎉
My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.
Commentary:
Hope you're getting a good price per barrel! 😂🛢️✨
The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.
Commentary:
Even my imaginary friends are requesting a transfer 😂👼😈
If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.
Commentary:
When pop stars have more followers than politicians have constituents, it's clear who really runs the world! 🎤💻🌟
Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.
Commentary:
Kevin Costner better have some serious dance moves if he's taming two wolves at once! 🐺💃🐺