133 funny ask quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag ツ

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Jan 31, 2026

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Jan 31, 2026

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Jan 31, 2026

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Jan 31, 2026

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Jan 31, 2026

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Jan 31, 2026

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Jan 31, 2026

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Jan 31, 2026

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Jan 31, 2026

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Jan 31, 2026

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Jan 30, 2026

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Jan 30, 2026

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Jan 30, 2026

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Jan 30, 2026

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Jan 30, 2026

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Jan 30, 2026

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Jan 30, 2026

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Jan 29, 2026

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Jan 29, 2026

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Jan 29, 2026

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Jan 29, 2026

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Jan 29, 2026

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Jan 29, 2026

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Jan 29, 2026

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Jan 29, 2026

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Jan 29, 2026

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Jan 29, 2026

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Jan 28, 2026

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Jan 28, 2026

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Jan 28, 2026

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Jan 28, 2026

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Jan 28, 2026

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Jan 28, 2026

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Jan 28, 2026Feb 24, 2026

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Jan 28, 2026

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Jan 28, 2026

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Jan 23, 2026

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Jan 23, 2026

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Jan 23, 2026

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Jan 23, 2026