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71 Funny ask quotes

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

3 months ago

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

3 months ago

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

3 months ago

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

3 months ago

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

3 months ago

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

3 months ago

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

3 months ago

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

3 months ago

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

3 months ago

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

3 months ago

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

3 months ago

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

3 months ago

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

3 months ago

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

3 months ago

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

3 months ago

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

3 months ago

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

3 months ago

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

3 months ago

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

3 months ago

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

3 months ago