Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Ask your doctor if it's right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Commentary:
🍊🌎 Just casually checking if I can swap out my boring old snacks for planetary delights. You know, in case I need to impress the other gods up there! 😂 #CitrusDietyGoals

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

    Commentary:
    Looks like the trainee might just get a divine intervention 😂🚂⛪️. Hope they’d say “oh snap” instead!

  • Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

    Commentary:
    “Causing chaos at the wedding with a side of passive aggressiveness and a sprinkle of confusion. 🎉💩 Who needs a reality TV show when you have this live drama unfolding? 😂”

  • I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

    Commentary:
    “Sure, I’ll get right on that apology… just as soon as I finish apologizing to all the other people I’ve offended this year! Looks like I’ll be busy until at least next year. Sorry about that!”

  • A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, it’s best to splurge a little – after all, you don’t want to end up with a face like a discount knockoff or a stomach ache that’s ‘fishy’ at best!”

  • My first mistake of my life was my birth.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the ultimate throwback to hindsight humor! It seems like someone had a rough start from day one, but hey, at least they didn’t make the same mistake twice… or did they? Birthdays must be a real blast for this person, huh?

  • My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the joys of sick-day warfare! 💥 When your body turns into a battlefield and the cough drop becomes the unexpected hero launching across the room like a fearless warrior on a mission. 🚀 Who knew a sneeze could be so dramatic and a cough drop such a daredevil? Watch out, world, you’ve got a new cruise missile in town, and it’s minty fresh! 😂🤧 #SickDayMissions