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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

28 minutes ago

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Going viral on X:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Just shared via Discord:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Going viral on YouTube:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Live now on WeChat:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Making waves on X:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Seen just now on Discord:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Home » Funny Ask Quotes

92 Funny ask quotes

Funny ask quotes 😂🤔 are like the secret sauce of conversations—they spice things up with a dash of humor and a sprinkle of wit! Perfect for breaking the ice, these clever lines turn ordinary questions into laugh-out-loud moments. Whether you’re out to baffle a friend or charm a crowd, these quotes are your ticket to a good giggle. Ready to ask away and spread some smiles? Let’s dive in! 🌟🎉

New funny ask quotes 👇

8 hours ago
Share →: Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Commentary:
Guess I'm just one cup away from becoming a full-time Starbucks retiree! ☕🤣
1 day ago
Share →: Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Commentary:
That's one way to handle tough conversations—From couch potato to confrontation! 😂🛋️👻
4 days ago
Share →: You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Commentary:
When did coffee become a food group? ☕️🍽️😄
4 days ago
Share →: If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Commentary:
When the stars just can't decide if we're besties or frenemies 🌟🤔😂
5 days ago
Share →: I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Commentary:
Sounds like prime pajama time! 😴🛌🕘
5 days ago
Share →: All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Commentary:
When kids ask for a snack right as you sit down, they must have a PhD in Impossibletimingology! 🍪🕰️😅
7 days ago
Share →: Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Commentary:
"Looking for career advice? I'm like a career GPS that only knows the 'Exit' route! 🚪👉😅"
1 week ago
Share →: Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Commentary:
"Turns out collecting rubber ducks and competitive potato peeling are way more fascinating than spreadsheets! 🦆🥔🤣"
1 week ago
Share →: When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Commentary:
"Looks like I'm not just a wife, I'm also a handy 'get out of jail free' card! 🎟️😂 #MasterOfExcuses"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Commentary:
"Ha! That's the sound of your lawnmower dreaming of freedom! 🚜😅 Better put it on pause, buddy!"

For even more funny ask quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny ask quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

28 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Live now on Facebook:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Spotted on Reddit:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Making waves on X:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Seen just now on Reddit:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

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