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71 Funny ask quotes

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

3 months ago

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

3 months ago

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

3 months ago

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

3 months ago

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

3 months ago

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

3 months ago

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

3 months ago

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

3 months ago

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

3 months ago

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

3 months ago

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

3 months ago

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

3 months ago

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

3 months ago

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

3 months ago

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

3 months ago

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

3 months ago

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

3 months ago

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

3 months ago

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

3 months ago