Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

53 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,322

Funny Quotes Topics

17,441

Funny Quotes Images

15,322

Jan 2, 2026

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Just landed via Messenger:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Making waves on Instagram:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Breaking via X:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Spotted on Discord:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Trending via WeChat:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Trending via Twitch:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

14 Funny cash quotes

Funny cash quotes 💸 bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of money 💰! Whether you’re saving, spending, or just dreaming of that payday, these witty sayings add a splash of humor 😄 to your financial journey. Get ready to laugh while thinking about those green bills and coins 🤑—because who said money talk has to be boring? Let’s make cash conversations fun and lighthearted! 🎉✨

New funny cash quotes 👇

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

0

4 weeks ago

bros., buy, buyout, cash, corporate, corporate buyout, enough, entertainment, family, irony, mom, Netflix, password, password sharing, passwords, poor, service, shared, sharing, streaming, streaming service, warner, Warner Bros.
I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

0

2 months ago

app, app usage, borrowed, borrowing, cash, cash app, debt, finance, humor, i, just, money, uninstall, usage
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

0

2 months ago

amount, attitude, cash, confidence, dollar, gas, gas station, here, humor, humor quote, imagine, just, me, money, over, sarcasm, station, witty
If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

0

2 months ago

cash, comfort, emotional, emotional needs, hug, humor, just, me, money, needs, pocket, put, sad, sadness, support
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, cash, depressed, depression, finances, financial, financial joke, health, humor, income, joke, just, mental, mental health, money, need, sarcasm, wealth
Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

0

2 months ago

Bitcoin, boys, cash, comparison, finance, humor, joke, just, kohl’s, Kohl’s Cash, money, shopping
I only accept apologies in cash.

0

2 months ago

apology, cash, humor, i, payment, sarcasm, worth
I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

0

2 months ago

cash, commitment, fear, finance, love, money, relationship
Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

0

2 months ago

borrow, cash, empath, friendship, humor, i, irony, money, need, sarcasm
The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

0

2 months ago

breed, cash, cow, humor, joke, pun, value

For even more funny cash quotes, hit next 👇

All funny cash quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Twitch this month:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

53 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,322

Funny Quotes Topics

17,441

Funny Quotes Images

15,322

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Going bananas on Threads:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Just landed via Discord:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Going bananas on Slack:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Spreading quickly via X:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

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