At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday. Posted on11 hours ago
Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not. Posted on13 hours ago
Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday. Posted on2 days ago
Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again. Posted on2 days ago
If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android. Posted on2 days ago
Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants. Posted on2 days ago
“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business. Posted on2 days ago
I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes. Posted on3 days ago
I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day. Posted on3 days ago
I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married. Posted on5 days ago