The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Commentary:
"He's not just hot… he's sizzling! 🔥 Keeping promises like a true superstar! 💫✨ #ManOfHisWord"

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y'all could do.

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Commentary:
"Me being my own worst critic: a full-time job with benefits and overtime. Sorry haters, your services are not needed here. 🤷‍♀️🥇 #SelfDeprecationGameStrong"

People always ask me "Do you believe in God?" and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Commentary:
Absolutely! Who needs divine intervention when you've got self-confidence to the max? 🙌 Believe in yourself, and watch miracles happen (or at least some impressive self-improvement)! 🌟 #FaithInMeNotDeity

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you have yourself as a critic? 🤷‍♂️🔫 Go ahead, self, hit me with your best shot! 💥😂"

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Commentary:
"Who knew excelling at faults could be a special skill? 🌟😂 Keep shining bright in all your imperfect glory! 💪🌟 #FlawlesslyFlawed"

Don't listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn't washed. It's just not true.

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Commentary:
"Remember, dirty hair, clean heart! 💁‍♀️✨ Embrace the messy bun and let your inner fabulousness shine through, regardless of what those unruly thoughts may say! 🌟 #BadHairDayConfidence"

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Commentary:
"Ah, confidence level: expert! 💁‍♂️🔥 Good looks are like a magnetic force field, resistance is futile! 😂 #ConfidenceGoals"

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Commentary:
🥁💥 Just drumming away the haters like Phil Collins drums through that iconic drum break in 'In The Air Tonight'! 🥁🎶 Who needs negativity when you've got killer air-drumming skills to show off, right? 😉 Keep rockin' it, and don't let the haters stop your epic solo! 🤘 #DrummingThroughTheDrama

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Commentary:
"Step right up and witness the extraordinary spectacle of confidence outweighing accuracy on the grand stage of the internet! 🎪🤣 Don't worry, if you're feeling lost in this swirling sea of misinformation, you're not alone! 🌊🙈 Just remember: the internet is the only place where you can be confidently wrong 24/7! 🌐😜"

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Commentary:
"Who needs a little black dress when you can rock silky polka dot PJs with as much sass and style? 💃🔥 Embracing comfort and cuteness all in one! 😂 #StayinSexyYetCozy"