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New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Mar 21, 2026

 

 

 

 

296 Funny confidence quotes

Funny confidence quotes are here to remind you that strutting through life with swagger — even when you’re winging it — can be downright hilarious! 😎😂 Whether it’s bold declarations, over-the-top self-love, or “fake it till you make it” moments, these quotes show that confidence and comedy go hand in hand. Walk tall and laugh louder! 💁‍♂️✨🕺

Just once, I’d like to experience the confidence of a goose walking directly into traffic.

Posted onMar 8, 2026Mar 8, 2026

Being underestimated is my favorite plot twist.

Posted onMar 7, 2026Mar 7, 2026

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I think God was high when he made me.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

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