296 funny confidence quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

May 28, 2026

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

May 28, 2026

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

May 27, 2026

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

May 27, 2026

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

May 27, 2026

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

May 27, 2026

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

May 27, 2026

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

May 27, 2026

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

May 27, 2026

I think God was high when he made me.

May 27, 2026

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

May 27, 2026

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

May 27, 2026

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

May 27, 2026

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

May 27, 2026

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

May 27, 2026

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

May 27, 2026

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

May 27, 2026

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

May 27, 2026

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

May 27, 2026

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

May 27, 2026

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

May 27, 2026

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

May 27, 2026

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

May 27, 2026

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

May 27, 2026

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

May 27, 2026

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

May 27, 2026

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

May 27, 2026

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

May 27, 2026

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

May 27, 2026

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

May 27, 2026

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

May 27, 2026

Cool times create cool guys.

May 27, 2026

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

May 27, 2026

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

May 27, 2026

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

May 27, 2026

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

May 27, 2026

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

May 27, 2026

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

May 27, 2026

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

May 27, 2026

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

May 27, 2026