Funny quotes irony Page 3

1184 Funny irony quotes

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I can resist everything except temptation.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025