Commentary:
When I'm happy, it's either a lucky glitch in my brain or I'm ignoring my to-do list like it's a toxic ex! 😅🤦♂️📋
1681 Funny irony quotes
How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?
Commentary:
🤣 Seems like marriage comes with a "requires assistance" label! 💍🔧
Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.
Commentary:
Sounds like the plot twist of adulting! 👻😅🏠
ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.
Commentary:
Master of random skills, professional procrastinator extraordinaire! 🤹♂️🧘♂️📅💥
I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.
Commentary:
So, basically, we got the deluxe edition of inflation but forgot to update the wage DLC? 🍔💸🤔
The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.
Commentary:
Looks like I missed the memo and the margarita! 🍹🏖️ Guess I'm stuck here holding down the fort. 🏢😅
Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.
Commentary:
When a ghost decides you're too spooky for them! 👻😂✌️
Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.
Commentary:
Living the American Dream: accumulating just the right amount of debt to keep life exciting! 💳💸😅
People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.
Commentary:
When "never" turns into their new favorite hobby! 😂🤦♂️✨
I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.
Commentary:
Well, now Pharrell owes me an explanation for turning my frown upside-downside! 🎶😅