1337 Funny irony quotes

More funny irony quotes 👇

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  2 weeks ago

  View →: You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: At the end of the day, the day is going to end.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

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