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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,079

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Going viral on TikTok:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Just landed via Instagram:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Just landed via WeChat:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

1210 Funny sarcasm quotes

More funny sarcasm quotes 👇

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

0

1 month ago

assume, everyone, finds, fun, humor, i, insecurity, interaction, issues, lying, me, otherwise, sarcasm, self-doubt, skepticism, social, social interaction, tell, trust, trust issues, unattractive, unattractiveness
Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

0

1 month ago

behind, every, eye, eye roll, eyes, great, humor, media, person, roll, rolling, sarcasm, social, social media, tweet
Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

0

1 month ago

betrayal, betraying, destroying, humor, kitten, mommy, nothing, sarcasm, self-destruction
Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

0

1 month ago

freedom, having, humor, i, kid, kids, lifestyle, man, parenting, sarcasm, sucks, time, want, whatever
There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

0

1 month ago

chair, count, English, English language, enough, express, expression, frustration, hit, humor, i, insult, language, much, never, properly, sarcasm, string, together, violence, want, word, word count, words
Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

0

1 month ago

cool, course, education, fail, humor, insult, job, me, most, pass, professor, real, sarcasm, student
Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

0

2 months ago

billionaire, hell, humor, irony, money, sarcasm, saving, wealth, weird
Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

0

2 months ago

anything, everything, exaggeration, humor, interest, interested, sarcasm
Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

0

2 months ago

apology, being, being right, correct, correctness, humor, i, right, said, sarcasm, sorry, stuff
The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

1

2 months ago

Christmas, disrespect, disrespectful, expectation, finance, holiday, humor, me, money, right, sarcasm, shopping, spending

For even more funny sarcasm quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sarcasm quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Shared recently on X:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Trending via TikTok:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Spotted on Instagram:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Trending via Snapchat:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Just landed via TikTok:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Making waves on Twitch:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Activity Log ✨

1210 Funny sarcasm quotes

More funny sarcasm quotes 👇

All funny sarcasm quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨