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😆 📚 "If reading were a skill, I'd gladly return it after seeing this!" 📚😆
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’
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Sure thing! How about this: "I guess I should have sent a 6-month notice before actually wanting a car 🚗🤔🙈"
Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.
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Spreading kindness online—because "Get off my lawn!" doesn't work over Wi-Fi! 😄🌐
If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.
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Looks like someone's ready to host a TED Talk on the Art of Yawning! 😴🤔
I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?
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Finding out it wasn’t your fault at work feels like discovering a hidden chocolate stash when you thought you were on a diet 🍫😆🎉
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.
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Plot twist: My chin hairs have better plot development than most TV shows 😂🪒
I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?
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Trying to protect the world from unexpected guests, one wrong turn at a time! 😂🗺️🔄
Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.
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I’m over here napping while you’re holding a grudge 💤😴😂
This meeting could have been a cave painting.
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When you've gone from hunting mammoths to hunting for the unmute button 🦣😂🎨
It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.
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When your shadow starts beefing with you, you know it's time to hit the AC! 😎🔥✌️