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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 7130 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,813 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

104 Funny times quotes

Funny times quotes 😄 are the perfect pick-me-up to lighten any mood and bring a smile to your face! Whether you’re looking for a chuckle on a gloomy day 🌧️ or a giggle to share with friends, these witty gems are sure to tickle your funny bone 😂. Dive into a world of humor and let the laughter roll in! Whether you’re in need of a quick laugh or a bit of comic relief, these gems have got you covered! 🙌✨

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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